id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
