Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
