is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Im part way to drunk.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
