I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
