and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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