somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
