he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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