I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
