on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
