it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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