god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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