i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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