My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize