spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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