I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
