All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
