Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
