Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize