He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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