Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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