How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
