Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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