He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
