wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
