im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
