Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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