Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
