So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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