Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
