if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
