it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
