Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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