i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
