dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
