P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
