Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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