It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
