I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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