I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
