I just saw a hot homeless man
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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