Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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