Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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