I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
