i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
