i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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