FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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