You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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