I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
is wine microwaveable?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize