What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
