we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
