where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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