How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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