if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You're like the curious george of whores
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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