I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
