I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
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Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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