I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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