I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize