now i know why i became what i already was.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
