just come out here and I will go home with you...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize